Did anyone else stare open-mouthed at their laptop/desktop/cell phone when the training schedule for weeks 8 & 9 came out? It’s okay to admit that you did…because odds are I was frozen in shock longer than you were. There are numbers involved in this schedule, distance and time limit-wise, that I have never done before…have never thought I COULD do before…and I’m freaking out a little.
Especially because when going to attempt (yes, make note of that word) my 13-mile assignment I completely wonked out after mile 2. Yes, that’s right, TWO! I’m completely baffled by that run – I was well rested, I had eaten & hydrated, I wasn’t starting out at a pace that isn’t my norm…but still right around the 2.25 mile mark I got overheated and dizzy so I had to stop. I was so disappointed and I mentally beat myself up about it for the rest of the day. (In fact I’m still beating myself up and it’s several days later…) However, I’m thinking that my feminine condition is somehow to blame for this running failure…because it was supposed to have started that day – and it didn’t. (And hasn’t since then either, I might add.) So, since completing a workout before the rest of the day starts is out of the question…I’ve been heading to the gym after work before I go home for the night. Which has been fine so far since runs have been relatively short – I’m usually not at the gym for more than 2 hours – but the idea of being there later than that…I’m not loving it. Being at the gym later will mean having dinner later, getting a shower later, and taking until even later for my brain to settle down so I can sleep for a few hours and then repeat the whole process the next day.
I hardly know what it’s like to have time to myself anymore these days – which I know sounds weird since running is a very independent sport…but you know what I mean, right? The rest of my life now has to revolve around how many miles I need to run each day. I barely see my roommates, dating is virtually impossible, and getting to go to a concert (which is probably my happiest of happy places) is exceptionally rare. I have yet to find the right balance for social life and fitness life.
So far…fitness life has the majority.
I haven’t quite worked out how I feel about that yet…when I’m better able to articulate it I’ll let you all know.
I feel like I’m whining A LOT during this post for week 7 – and you’d think I’d be in great spirits since it’s an easy on/off running schedule, but no. Instead of enjoying the moments this week that I SHOULD be taking more time to appreciate…like the night I ran 5 miles in just under 53 min…or the night I ran all 5 miles without having to walk (walking happens much more in the gym than it does when I’m outside…I can’t wait to get out there!!)…I’m being all paranoid about the unknown instead.
I’ve even started to have pre-race nightmares. Sometimes in these nightmares I’m right within sight of the finish line (which looks amazing if I have relocated it in the park correctly in my dream-space lol) when I don’t get to finish the race due to some sort of natural disaster. Other times in these nightmares I am miles from the finish line, in my dream-space it’s like some weird hybrid area of the paths in Oakledge and Leddy Park, and I get injured – and there is absolutely no one around to help me. Or if other runners appear in this dream sequence then they are shadow figures who run right by me as I crawl/drag myself on the path toward the finish line.
No matter how much I try and tell myself that I don’t need to worry about those things (the natural disasters in particular…since I really don’t think there will be a massive earthquake in Burlington any time soon...and there aren’t any volcanoes here either) but clearly my subconscious disagrees. I think most of the worry for injury stems from the fact that last year, during my half of the relay, one of my knees felt like it was ready to give out when I was about a mile away from the finish line. I had been making good time up until the point where my knee was like HAHAHA NO! and I tried to keep hobbling along…from where I was I could HEAR the finish line crowd cheering…and very faintly I could hear the song SHUT UP AND DANCE (which was, as they say, my jam) playing and I thought “I should be crossing the line singing and dancing to THAT SONG…wait! Just wait!”
It didn’t wait. I didn’t get my singing and dancing moment of glory…(I haven’t decided on my dream finish line crossing jam for this year, haha) but I still finished. As a team we still came in under 6 hours – which we were feeling pretty pleased with since we had done little (or in my relay partner’s case NOTHING) to train for it. I’m still proud of us for that actually.
But, even though I still finished last year, I worry that this year I won’t be as lucky and my knee won’t just be throbbing – it will dislocate or one of the related tendons will snap and I’ll be done…and all of my hard work will have been for nothing.
Anyone else already having pre-race jitters? Or is it just me? (Though I think I’m experiencing something a bit more intense than jitters lol)
Until next time,
(Who knew that training wouldn’t be all sunshine and lollipops…but still.)