The Run Down - The RunVermont Blog

Running Makes Me Dead Sexy – Rookie Kiersten

by Jess Cover on March 3, 2014 · 8 comments

in This Rookie's Ramblings (2014)

On Friday, the temperature was in the single digits, and this stubborn kid refused to drive up to UVM and gallivant on the dread-mill (fellow Rookie blogger, Shane Beam, introduced me to that fun nickname). My run was only three miles, and if I did my outdoor-running-pace of 9:30 minutes per mile, I would probably make it home in under 30 minutes, which was the time winter advisory considered, “risk to damaging exposure.” In turn,  I layered up and headed into the frigid air.

I’ve been sincerely attempting to master Green Mountain Rehab-Andy’s recommended “shuffle run,” as I try to incorporate it into the shorter trainings stints. Well, anyone who runs around Burlington knows that the sidewalks do not make for the most level running environment, and when you are attempting to run “more efficiently” as the “shuffle run” aims to do, you are not lifting your feet very high above the ground.

Unfortunately, this kid officially ate it hard for the first time. My toe caught a slightly elevated block of pavement, and I bounded once and then twice – arms flailing in an attempt to grab that oh-so-supportive nothing, and then I went face down onto the pavement, and  literally slid for a good foot. Something kind of like this kid:


(in an effort to feel better about my silly stumble, I searched “running fail”; readers, you MUST do this sometime).

As you recall, this was a frigid run. Thus, I was wearing fleece pants over leggings, a fleece jacket over a running jacket over a running shirt, and gloves with these grippy bobbles all along the palm. I paused for a moment, face down in the icy-salty-dirt to assess the damage and realized I was perfectly/miraculously unscathed. I said to myself, “well, that just happened”, got up, and continued on. The most unfortunate part was that I was on a side street where no one was able to witness what must have been a pretty ridiculous looking tumble; I hate when my silliness goes to waste.

tobey-maguire-crying

My Running Face…

As I resumed my run, I couldn’t help but think how totally ridiculous I must have looked when I ate it. Meanwhile, I turned my head to the side, and shot a masterful snot rocket – the cold gets my snot glands in overdrive (Are snot glands a thing? They have to be). And then, I used the back of my hand to wipe away the tears, which were not from the tumble; my eyes often water when I run. Finally it occurred to me (probably with about a half mile left) – running makes me pretty dead sexy.

Top five reasons I know running scores me points with the boys:
5.    Spandex; ‘nough said.
4.    A consistently runny nose (I affectionately call it “my faucet nose”) and the tearing eyes.
3.    Mastering and regularly using the snot rocket – an essential skill for any dead sexy runner (I’ve realized that sometimes my throat blocks up, preventing the full on blow – is that a hydration thing? Any tips are warmly welcomed.)
2.    SO MUCH SWEAT!
1.    Publishing all of these sexy features to The RunVermont Blog!

Just more proof that we run for ourselves. Continue to sweat it up readers, and please feel free to share other ways we are dead sexy. This was a quick list, formulated in a half mile that followed a slightly traumatic event.

Yours in hotness,

Kiersten

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Shane March 3, 2014 at 6:51 pm

Absolutely amazing, and hilarious! I feel your pain, I’ve been there (and on many other surfaces, unfortunately) myself. I’m glad someone else realizes just how sexy one is while on a run, and after a run! Ha-ha…love your blog posts, keep up the great work :-)

2 Holly March 3, 2014 at 6:59 pm

I , too have been there- with a live audience. Two cops, sitting in their respective cars, talking down by the boat launch near the bike path. I tripped on something and down I went, perfecting a stylish roll , and back on my feet without missing a beat. Over the cop car sound system comes”Nice recovery!” for all to hear! It happens to the best of us and the rest of us! Run on!

3 Kiersten Hallquist March 4, 2014 at 10:07 am

Holly, I was actually a pretty sad I didn’t have any witnesses; what a waste of a perfectly hilarious #fail. It’s always nice to brighten someone’s day with owning our dead sexy actions. Thanks for sharing!

4 Jordan March 5, 2014 at 6:01 pm

I’m all class when I’m picking front and back wedgies while running!

5 Jessica March 7, 2014 at 2:08 pm

How about the cozy but frumpy sweatshirt cinched at the waist with a hip accentuating fuel belt? It reminds me of the ’80s style of wearing a big blousy shirt with a belt over it. I just need to find some “jelly shoes” and bangles to run in to top off the perfect outfit. :)

6 Kiersten Hallquist March 9, 2014 at 7:12 pm

Haha; right you are, Jordan! How could I forget the wedgie/melvin-management?! You should have seen the strategic shuffle I attempted today. It failed. You always to directly address the issue, unabashed by potential witnesses.

Ah, Jess, a PERFECT addition! I am actually on the look-out for my running belt, and have certainly set “fanny-pack-esque” as an essential aspect. \

Thanks for the shares, ladies!

7 Kiersten Hallquist March 9, 2014 at 7:12 pm

Haha; right you are, Jordan! How could I forget the wedgie/melvin-management?! You should have seen the strategic shuffle I attempted today. It failed. You always to directly address the issue, unabashed by potential witnesses.

Ah, Jess, a PERFECT addition! I am actually on the look-out for my running belt, and have certainly set “fanny-pack-esque” as an essential aspect.

Thanks for the shares, ladies!

8 Kiersten Hallquist March 28, 2014 at 3:21 pm

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